zaynie
Omo Egbe Kekere
Posts: 10
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Post by zaynie on Dec 16, 2015 12:57:12 GMT
In my family, my husband is the leader but not a dictator cos he knows I have 'authority issues'; I always want to test limits. We discuss and come to an agreement...by discuss, I mean argue extensively if need be. Once he brought up one of his 'policies', I told him point blank, I won't do that. We dragged it for a long time and he finally let me be.
Even my son has a say in the decisions we make.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2015 13:34:49 GMT
Honestly...its not a black guy issue but a black people issue.Both sexes make utterly terrible decisions....we dey for lalaland and don't deal with the reality of life and social dynamics in this culture.Black people can be quite emotional o relative to other races and no I don't think we as a race are inferior to others.... I do think other races are better at making decisions as many times they think long term as opposed to short term both as a family and as a racial group.Many times our decisions are in the now and not how what we do affect future generations and so forth.... Interesting input about long term and short term dichotomy and how we Africans live for the moment/now vis a vis other races of people. I think that right there is the reason why we are at the bottom of the totem pole of everything. A wise man once said if you fail to plan, then you are planning to fail. Err, do you think we are like cos it is a cultural thing or due to the psychological effects of being an oppressed group for so long, and subconsciously that has innately affected every facet of our mentality and outlook to life. Thus making us making us short term thinkers cos we innately don't care about building gradually? Also, how did you come to this conclusion? Have you dated guys from other races? I can't speak for continental Africans but for those in the diaspora it is both cultural and psychological.Even with that..can they look towards Africa to even correct those dysfunctionalities ?Truth is as long as Black man continue to run away from himself,their indigenous culture and his own little contribution to civilization we always gon be failing.A tiger can never be a lion try as it may though both belong to the cat family.As I always tell folks if all black man invented was a mud hut I am comfortable with that....I won't feel inferior because of what others achieved. Doesn't mean I condone mediocrity but my mindset is how can I improve upon this mud hut and build a better structure out of mud like what they are doing now instead of rejecting it and embracing concrete entirely.Other races have lost out to whites but they have seeked to learn from whites whilst also building off of their indigenous culture.Can a black man ever be more white than white folks etc?....but if he improve his indigenous culture he can become a better individual within that construct of his culture and reach the furthest building upon dt. Errr....I grew up in a multi-cultural/multi-racial society especially amongst East Indians...my grandmother whom I grew up with was an East Indian and I have them in my immediate family...so I am familiar with East Indians and their temperament.It is not difficult to compare and contrast Blacks compared to other races.No...I have always stuck with Black or Mixed folks lol.Make I give you an example....it is quite normal for an East Indian to give their pikin land upon marriage or even to buy land whilst rearing their pikin...their modus operandi is to educate their pikins and give them land....also they push their pikin to be employers than employees...same doesn't hold for the Blacks.Yes Blacks do similar but not to the extent as East Indians...so you find their pikin struggling more than their East Indian counterparts...East Indians usually think dt their children should struggle less than them so they try to make things better for the future generation....mind you they have issues of greed,domestic violence,infidelity etc like Blacks but they differ in how they seek to manage their pathologies and ish.Mind you their children don't generally grow up ungrateful due to this act of the parent giving them land and stuff...
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Post by Her Highness on Dec 16, 2015 14:31:56 GMT
Shymmex , I'm gonna have to sit this one out Loool. But are you a traditional African woman or a feminazi? I know the big Honorebu loves 'em traditional lol. Dude, you gotta stop all this. You're making things weird and awkward between us. I'm not the traditional African woman nor a feminazi. I totally agree with what @quimicababes , said about letting the African man lead the household, but not all the time. No one can be 100% correct all the time, even the African man needs his rock and support. It all boils down to mutual respect and trust at the end of the day. Please me love a man that can lead & make reasonable decisions, but he must also know how to ask for help. I think this is the 21st century African man. The traditional African man wants to control everything and everyone.
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Post by Shymmex on Dec 16, 2015 18:43:12 GMT
Interesting input about long term and short term dichotomy and how we Africans live for the moment/now vis a vis other races of people. I think that right there is the reason why we are at the bottom of the totem pole of everything. A wise man once said if you fail to plan, then you are planning to fail. Err, do you think we are like cos it is a cultural thing or due to the psychological effects of being an oppressed group for so long, and subconsciously that has innately affected every facet of our mentality and outlook to life. Thus making us making us short term thinkers cos we innately don't care about building gradually? Also, how did you come to this conclusion? Have you dated guys from other races? I can't speak for continental Africans but for those in the diaspora it is both cultural and psychological.Even with that..can they look towards Africa to even correct those dysfunctionalities ?Truth is as long as Black man continue to run away from himself,their indigenous culture and his own little contribution to civilization we always gon be failing.A tiger can never be a lion try as it may though both belong to the cat family.As I always tell folks if all black man invented was a mud hut I am comfortable with that....I won't feel inferior because of what others achieved. Doesn't mean I condone mediocrity but my mindset is how can I improve upon this mud hut and build a better structure out of mud like what they are doing now instead of rejecting it and embracing concrete entirely.Other races have lost out to whites but they have seeked to learn from whites whilst also building off of their indigenous culture.Can a black man ever be more white than white folks etc?....but if he improve his indigenous culture he can become a better individual within that construct of his culture and reach the furthest building upon dt. Errr....I grew up in a multi-cultural/multi-racial society especially amongst East Indians...my grandmother whom I grew up with was an East Indian and I have them in my immediate family...so I am familiar with East Indians and their temperament.It is not difficult to compare and contrast Blacks compared to other races.No...I have always stuck with Black or Mixed folks lol.Make I give you an example....it is quite normal for an East Indian to give their pikin land upon marriage or even to buy land whilst rearing their pikin...their modus operandi is to educate their pikins and give them land....also they push their pikin to be employers than employees...same doesn't hold for the Blacks.Yes Blacks do similar but not to the extent as East Indians...so you find their pikin struggling more than their East Indian counterparts...East Indians usually think dt their children should struggle less than them so they try to make things better for the future generation....mind you they have issues of greed,domestic violence,infidelity etc like Blacks but they differ in how they seek to manage their pathologies and ish.Mind you their children don't generally grow up ungrateful due to this act of the parent giving them land and stuff... I will come back to this.
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Post by Shymmex on Dec 16, 2015 18:44:47 GMT
Loool. But are you a traditional African woman or a feminazi? I know the big Honorebu loves 'em traditional lol. Dude, you gotta stop all this. You're making things weird and awkward between us. I'm not the traditional African woman nor a feminazi. I totally agree with what @quimicababes , said about letting the African man lead the household, but not all the time. No one can be 100% correct all the time, even the African man needs his rock and support. It all boils down to mutual respect and trust at the end of the day. Please me love a man that can lead & make reasonable decisions, but he must also know how to ask for help. I think this is the 21st century African man. The traditional African man wants to control everything and everyone. Bwhahahaha Is this love? Love is the answer. Jk jk jk jk loool
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Post by Her Highness on Dec 16, 2015 18:56:05 GMT
Dude, you gotta stop all this. You're making things weird and awkward between us. I'm not the traditional African woman nor a feminazi. I totally agree with what @quimicababes , said about letting the African man lead the household, but not all the time. No one can be 100% correct all the time, even the African man needs his rock and support. It all boils down to mutual respect and trust at the end of the day. Please me love a man that can lead & make reasonable decisions, but he must also know how to ask for help. I think this is the 21st century African man. The traditional African man wants to control everything and everyone. Bwhahahaha Is this love? Love is the answer. Jk jk jk jk loool Love? What's that gotta do with it?
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Post by Shymmex on Dec 16, 2015 19:57:28 GMT
Interesting input about long term and short term dichotomy and how we Africans live for the moment/now vis a vis other races of people. I think that right there is the reason why we are at the bottom of the totem pole of everything. A wise man once said if you fail to plan, then you are planning to fail. Err, do you think we are like cos it is a cultural thing or due to the psychological effects of being an oppressed group for so long, and subconsciously that has innately affected every facet of our mentality and outlook to life. Thus making us making us short term thinkers cos we innately don't care about building gradually? Also, how did you come to this conclusion? Have you dated guys from other races? I can't speak for continental Africans but for those in the diaspora it is both cultural and psychological.Even with that..can they look towards Africa to even correct those dysfunctionalities ?Truth is as long as Black man continue to run away from himself,their indigenous culture and his own little contribution to civilization we always gon be failing.A tiger can never be a lion try as it may though both belong to the cat family.As I always tell folks if all black man invented was a mud hut I am comfortable with that....I won't feel inferior because of what others achieved. Doesn't mean I condone mediocrity but my mindset is how can I improve upon this mud hut and build a better structure out of mud like what they are doing now instead of rejecting it and embracing concrete entirely.Other races have lost out to whites but they have seeked to learn from whites whilst also building off of their indigenous culture.Can a black man ever be more white than white folks etc?....but if he improve his indigenous culture he can become a better individual within that construct of his culture and reach the furthest building upon dt. Errr....I grew up in a multi-cultural/multi-racial society especially amongst East Indians...my grandmother whom I grew up with was an East Indian and I have them in my immediate family...so I am familiar with East Indians and their temperament.It is not difficult to compare and contrast Blacks compared to other races.No...I have always stuck with Black or Mixed folks lol.Make I give you an example....it is quite normal for an East Indian to give their pikin land upon marriage or even to buy land whilst rearing their pikin...their modus operandi is to educate their pikins and give them land....also they push their pikin to be employers than employees...same doesn't hold for the Blacks.Yes Blacks do similar but not to the extent as East Indians...so you find their pikin struggling more than their East Indian counterparts...East Indians usually think dt their children should struggle less than them so they try to make things better for the future generation....mind you they have issues of greed,domestic violence,infidelity etc like Blacks but they differ in how they seek to manage their pathologies and ish.Mind you their children don't generally grow up ungrateful due to this act of the parent giving them land and stuff... Your post is quite insightful and I'm a big fan of ya mentality. Black women with ya mentality are a rare breed, trust me. Everything you posited about Trini black men is applicable to African, and blacks in diaspora. Universally, as black people, our thought process is messed up. And it's refreshing to see how you expanded on how it also affects our decision making abilities. However, I'd say it's not just black men - black women are also messed up and they might be worse than black men. So if that's the case...why should the black man allow the black woman whose mentality is just as effed up as his be in-charge of decision making, coupled with the fact that naturally women tend to be emotional beings?
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Post by Shymmex on Dec 16, 2015 20:05:38 GMT
In my family, my husband is the leader but not a dictator cos he knows I have 'authority issues'; I always want to test limits. We discuss and come to an agreement...by discuss, I mean argue extensively if need be. Once he brought up one of his 'policies', I told him point blank, I won't do that. We dragged it for a long time and he finally let me be. Even my son has a say in the decisions we make. You have got yourself a good man...make sure you keep him.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2015 20:34:58 GMT
I can't speak for continental Africans but for those in the diaspora it is both cultural and psychological.Even with that..can they look towards Africa to even correct those dysfunctionalities ?Truth is as long as Black man continue to run away from himself,their indigenous culture and his own little contribution to civilization we always gon be failing.A tiger can never be a lion try as it may though both belong to the cat family.As I always tell folks if all black man invented was a mud hut I am comfortable with that....I won't feel inferior because of what others achieved. Doesn't mean I condone mediocrity but my mindset is how can I improve upon this mud hut and build a better structure out of mud like what they are doing now instead of rejecting it and embracing concrete entirely.Other races have lost out to whites but they have seeked to learn from whites whilst also building off of their indigenous culture.Can a black man ever be more white than white folks etc?....but if he improve his indigenous culture he can become a better individual within that construct of his culture and reach the furthest building upon dt. Errr....I grew up in a multi-cultural/multi-racial society especially amongst East Indians...my grandmother whom I grew up with was an East Indian and I have them in my immediate family...so I am familiar with East Indians and their temperament.It is not difficult to compare and contrast Blacks compared to other races.No...I have always stuck with Black or Mixed folks lol.Make I give you an example....it is quite normal for an East Indian to give their pikin land upon marriage or even to buy land whilst rearing their pikin...their modus operandi is to educate their pikins and give them land....also they push their pikin to be employers than employees...same doesn't hold for the Blacks.Yes Blacks do similar but not to the extent as East Indians...so you find their pikin struggling more than their East Indian counterparts...East Indians usually think dt their children should struggle less than them so they try to make things better for the future generation....mind you they have issues of greed,domestic violence,infidelity etc like Blacks but they differ in how they seek to manage their pathologies and ish.Mind you their children don't generally grow up ungrateful due to this act of the parent giving them land and stuff... Your post is quite insightful and I'm a big fan of ya mentality. Black women with ya mentality are a rare breed, trust me. Everything you posited about Trini black men is applicable to African, and blacks in diaspora. Universally, as black people, our thought process is messed up. And it's refreshing to see how you expanded on how it also affects our decision making abilities. However, I'd say it's not just black men - black women are also messed up and they might be worse than black men. So if that's the case...why should the black man allow the black woman whose mentality is just as effed up as his be in-charge of decision making, coupled with the fact that naturally women tend to be emotional beings? My post wasn't intended to be gender specific but speaking about blacks on the whole...Black women are just as messed up...both sexes make poor choices and decisions.At the end of the day its up to both sexes to choose partners whose decision making skills they deem to their level of awareness.Just as my feelings hold towards black men...I would advise similar caution for black men...so its not a case of I am being biased towards my sex.
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Post by Honorebu on Dec 16, 2015 20:39:45 GMT
Her Highness ,
Next time I see you talking about anything marriage-related, I'll hand you a 500-year ban
Wetin konsain you? ehn?
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Post by Her Highness on Dec 16, 2015 21:52:03 GMT
LOL ....... Infact, for this post sef, I go talk. Shymmex, I'll be back with my own lengthy reply. Honorebu, just touched the tigress' tail.
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Post by Honorebu on Dec 16, 2015 21:55:52 GMT
LOL ....... Infact, for this post sef, I go talk. Shymmex, I'll be back with my own lengthy reply. Honorebu , just touched the tigress' tail.
LAST WARNING!
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Post by Her Highness on Dec 16, 2015 21:59:40 GMT
LOL ....... Infact, for this post sef, I go talk. Shymmex, I'll be back with my own lengthy reply. Honorebu , just touched the tigress' tail.
LAST WARNING! I dey come with my post, no worry.
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Post by Shymmex on Dec 16, 2015 23:46:06 GMT
Your post is quite insightful and I'm a big fan of ya mentality. Black women with ya mentality are a rare breed, trust me. Everything you posited about Trini black men is applicable to African, and blacks in diaspora. Universally, as black people, our thought process is messed up. And it's refreshing to see how you expanded on how it also affects our decision making abilities. However, I'd say it's not just black men - black women are also messed up and they might be worse than black men. So if that's the case...why should the black man allow the black woman whose mentality is just as effed up as his be in-charge of decision making, coupled with the fact that naturally women tend to be emotional beings? My post wasn't intended to be gender specific but speaking about blacks on the whole...Black women are just as messed up...both sexes make poor choices and decisions.At the end of the day its up to both sexes to choose partners whose decision making skills they deem to their level of awareness.Just as my feelings hold towards black men...I would advise similar caution for black men...so its not a case of I am being biased towards my sex. Well said.
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Post by Her Highness on Dec 17, 2015 14:42:51 GMT
Shymmex , Before I comment my reserve (lol), what is your definition of a traditional African husband, why do you think the traditional African wife role is important and how do you think they should both SUCCESSFULLY collaborate?
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