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Post by OmoOba on Dec 9, 2015 22:38:27 GMT
I'm going to disagree with a few of your points and I hope you forgive moi. 1. You mentioned that your mom was a second wife and that it wasn't a result of infidelity. How manage? Did he and his first wife agreed to have a second wife? Did they have the discussion before he brought home your mom. I believe polygamy is an aftereffect of monogamous infidelity. Society looks at it as a religious and cultural norm, so no one really asks the question "how did he meet his other wives?". Marriage needs courtship, romance and emotional trust [and all the other salty stuff] to occur. They need time. 2. Polygamous relationship are more honest? I beg to differ. Just because a man has multiple wives at home don't mean he ain't fucking around. I can't fathom a scenario where the 1st/2nd/3rd wives are okay with their husband looking for a 4th wife. I can't imagine a scenario where they'd ask him to bring them another housemate. Can you think of any sincere reasons why a women would tell her husband to bring home another woman, apart from barrenness? Or why a man would bring home a second wife, without the first wife's knowledge? I'm not saying you're okay with cheating, but I've talked to some women who don't see it as a big issue. Cheating is the ultimate betrayal of trust, emotion, care, relationship etc. It's an act of disrespect, selfishness, and lack of control. You appear anti-polygamist - no offense. Marriage becoming polygamic is as a result of the absorption of western societal standards/religion. Traditional African society was accepting of polygamy and it worked on all levels till women thought white man's style was ultimate and men had to resort to cheating till they get caught or impregnate the other woman and they become bold with it. In fact, polygamy showed the level of a man's wealth/inflience in the previous generations. And women were accepting of their husbands getting other wives because it adds to their level of soceital importance and also only a 'wicked' woman in Yoruba soceity would prevent her man from taking more wives if he so wishes. I mean no offence and forgive me if I have misunderstood you.
Are you in a roundabout way trying to justify polygamy? Are men not human beings? Why can't they control their urges - abi you think women don't have similar urges?
Also, how do you know for certain that back then, women were truly okay with polygamy? What if they had to accept it because there were no other alternatives for them? Women are human beings too with feelings. The way it hurts when your wife/girlfriend cheat is the same way it hurts when you do.
Yes, polygamy may have been prevalent in our culture BUT it does not make it right. The world is constantly changing and evolving and with this comes the realisation that there are some questionable aspects of our culture and now we are trying to make things right.
I do not believe men are born polygamous. This line is just the BS that a lot of men spew to continue to get away with philandering.
When God created Adam, he created only ONE helper, not two, three or ten, just one.
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Post by OmoOba on Dec 9, 2015 22:39:56 GMT
You appear anti-polygamist - no offense. Marriage becoming polygamic is as a result of the absorption of western societal standards/religion. Traditional African society was accepting of polygamy and it worked on all levels till women thought white man's style was ultimate and men had to resort to cheating till they get caught or impregnate the other woman and they become bold with it. In fact, polygamy showed the level of a man's wealth/inflience in the previous generations. And women were accepting of their husbands getting other wives because it adds to their level of societal importance and also only a 'wicked' woman in Yoruba soceity would prevent her man from taking more wives if he so wishes. But you're not answering my questions though....... HOW does a man find his second wife? Yes, I'm anti-polygamist. In my relationship, the man belongs to me emotionally, sexually, economically, etc. I like a one man- one woman playing field, supported by a healthy dose of jealous emotion. A lot of the world's traditions needs to be scrapped, let's the honest. In the Yoruba culture, polygamy came about as an effect of war......less number of male survival, more women to be married off. Nowadays, we don't have that problem. So it's okay for a man to have multiple wives, but not okay for a woman to have multiple husbands? Is the husband not wicked also? My sister, o sun mi o.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2015 22:58:38 GMT
Lol..no need to forgive u chic we can both agree to disagree...no need for me to catch feelings on dt.Regarding your 1st point my moms and family grew up in a Muslim household...it all depends on how the person approach the topic of polygamy.Sometimes there is consultation and sometimes there isn't and no my moms wasn't with the guy before they got married.I can understand why you hold that view but not every woman is hung up on the mindset that he's my one and only guy.Some Muslim women are okay with polygamy because of religion and for some due to culture.I am not religious at all but I am okay with it.I don't feel threatened or anything by other females. Regarding your second point monogamous relationships are no better off than polygamous ones o.Most of the divorces and infidelity are coming from where?We as women can choose how we deal with situations and also choose whether to lie to ourselves or not.I rather my husband be honest with me where I know he sexed someone else than be dishonest about it.Unlike a lot of folks..no I don't tie sex to anything as love etc.I have no problem with another female being the 2nd wife to my guy once she is a decent human being,sincere and I can get along with her.Not every woman is evil nor do every woman seeks to compete with another woman. Chic not every woman wants to be harassed lol...if a another chic can help you out with chores etc why not?...also I find your argument is too male-centric.Are we saying only men cheat?...women cheat just as much just that they are able to conceal it better.How are men supposed to react o? How are men supposed to react when women make children for another man whilst passing off the pikin as his? Also why are we treating this polygamous stuff as if monogamy predated it when it is the reality for much of human history both male and females were polygamous? Is one supposed to destroy a living that is good just due to the fact a guy or woman sexed someone else? I am not condoning cheating but I am a realist.If so many folks are complaining about cheating...how do we deal with it? You made some great points and I understand your position a lot clearer. For the consultation part, from cases that you may know, do you find that most women okay with the decision to bring home another wife? I hope you're not getting me wrong. I don't tie sex to love either, but once words of exclusiveness has been spoken, I expect my partner to act according to plan. Cheating breaks the broken contract. It may seem like I'm a bring male-centric, but then that's because I'm speaking from my perspective. Women do cheat, and I expect men to act as I would. Or better yet, whatever is best for the goose. @the bolded, you asked some pretty heavy question, which are beyond the scope of this question, but will be discussed in time. If a living is that good, I doubt a man would need to find a "better" puzzy [excuse my french] outside. If you don't draw the line at cheating, at what point would you? At domestic abuse? What's the difference between physical abuse and emotional [cheating] abuse? Different side-effects, same medicine. Some women are okay with it and some women aren't. Personally I think if you as a guy desire another woman and your first wife is not okay with it..better to forgo the desire as it will be a case of creating a conflict environment.Many times I have seen it gone wrong is where there were no consultation but a case of the guy trying to force his will onto the lady. I understand your pov but I think just as most of us women have been socialized to want that "exclusive one"...also understand there are women who have been socialized or reasoned to "share" for lack of a better word. I find these sort of conversations are always male-centric whilst overlooking women cheating.I know many women may not wish to admit it but women cheat and quite a bit.I think if we are discussing cheating...we ought to look at it holistically.Also there are men who know their women cheated on them and they didn't burn their marriages...so forgiveness or whatever is not peculiar to women only. Chic I am a realist.Cheating is not always about sex only.Throughout folks lifespan you grow and change and folks cross your life path.Sometimes ppl cheat due to attraction towards another person's persona etc...basically feelings etc.You can have the sweetest pussy and its not a guarantee your guy will be faithful.You are misunderstanding me with regards to the cheating issue.My guy having sex with another chic knowingly to me is not him cheating because I knew in advance and consented.Cheating is where you engage in acts that wasn't even part of the understanding of the relationship....hence you will feel betrayed etc.Why would I feel so if I agreed in advance? Everyone is different and knows what they are okay with or not.Most problems arises due to dishonesty...where folks subscribe to things they know they cannot fulfill. I am okay with both monogamous relationships and what folks would call "open" relationships.Also...considering the reality that so many men cheat...there are options o.I can do like most women and pretend it doesn't exist where I can put myself at risk of contracting an STD,him getting someone pregnant or I can deal with it heads on.To you me being okay with my guy sexing someone else is emotional abuse but as I said...everyone have different perceptions and outlooks on life.The onus is on you to find a guy who is explicitly monogamous as you desire.Btw I don't condone emotional nor physical abuse neither do I accept it in whatever relationship I may find myself in...I just don't feel insecure or jealous if a guy I am with sees someone else he likes.Do I question it?....yes...cuz I desire to know what is the nature of the feelings but I have no problem watching a guy I am with sexing another chic...just my 2 cents.
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Post by Her Highness on Dec 9, 2015 23:18:37 GMT
You made some great points and I understand your position a lot clearer. For the consultation part, from cases that you may know, do you find that most women okay with the decision to bring home another wife? I hope you're not getting me wrong. I don't tie sex to love either, but once words of exclusiveness has been spoken, I expect my partner to act according to plan. Cheating breaks the broken contract. It may seem like I'm a bring male-centric, but then that's because I'm speaking from my perspective. Women do cheat, and I expect men to act as I would. Or better yet, whatever is best for the goose. @the bolded, you asked some pretty heavy question, which are beyond the scope of this question, but will be discussed in time. If a living is that good, I doubt a man would need to find a "better" puzzy [excuse my french] outside. If you don't draw the line at cheating, at what point would you? At domestic abuse? What's the difference between physical abuse and emotional [cheating] abuse? Different side-effects, same medicine. Some women are okay with it and some women aren't. Personally I think if you as a guy desire another woman and your first wife is not okay with it..better to forgo the desire as it will be a case of creating a conflict environment.Many times I have seen it gone wrong is where there were no consultation but a case of the guy trying to force his will onto the lady. I understand your pov but I think just as most of us women have been socialized to want that "exclusive one"...also understand there are women who have been socialized or reasoned to "share" for lack of a better word. I find these sort of conversations are always male-centric whilst overlooking women cheating.I know many women may not wish to admit it but women cheat and quite a bit.I think if we are discussing cheating...we ought to look at it holistically.Also there are men who know their women cheated on them and they didn't burn their marriages...so forgiveness or whatever is not peculiar to women only. Chic I am a realist.Cheating is not always about sex only.Throughout folks lifespan you grow and change and folks cross your life path.Sometimes ppl cheat due to attraction towards another person's persona etc...basically feelings etc.You can have the sweetest pussy and its not a guarantee your guy will be faithful.You are misunderstanding me with regards to the cheating issue.My guy having sex with another chic knowingly to me is not him cheating because I knew in advance and consented.Cheating is where you engage in acts that wasn't even part of the understanding of the relationship....hence you will feel betrayed etc.Why would I feel so if I agreed in advance? Everyone is different and knows what they are okay with or not.Most problems arises due to dishonesty...where folks subscribe to things they know they cannot fulfill. I am okay with both monogamous relationships and what folks would call "open" relationships.Also...considering the reality that so many men cheat...there are options o.I can do like most women and pretend it doesn't exist where I can put myself at risk of contracting an STD,him getting someone pregnant or I can deal with it heads on.To you me being okay with my guy sexing someone else is emotional abuse but as I said...everyone have different perceptions and outlooks on life.The onus is on you to find a guy who is explicitly monogamous as you desire.Btw I don't condone emotional nor physical abuse neither do I accept it in whatever relationship I may find myself in... I just don't feel insecure or jealous if a guy I am with sees someone else he likes.Do I question it?....yes...cuz I desire to know what is the nature of the feelings but I have no problem watching a guy I am with sexing another chic...just my 2 cents. Hmmm forgiveness..... it tastes so bitter in my mouth. I don't think I like it much Once again, great points. One question though, why would you agree to let your man have sex with someone else? And do you get to pick the other female? I don't think this is about insecurity, nor would I equate jealousy with insecurity. A "closed" relationship is a verbal contract, doing anything to jeopardize that contract could break it [and in my case, will break it]. Telling me that "that chic is gorgeous" is not the same as "I fucked her because she was gorgeous". Shoit I've been in relationships where I think the next guy is fine, but I don't ruminate or entertain the fleeting thought.
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Post by Shymmex on Dec 9, 2015 23:58:23 GMT
What do you consider the ideal family structure should be? Please discuss these concepts: 1. Happiness 2. Individualistic / Collectivism (external family interferes) 3. Family size 4. Roles [if you think roles should apply] 5. Income (dual or tradition) Tradition incomes refers to a working husband and a housewife. 6. Number of kids (should it be based on income, time or society population) 7. Polygamy 8. Others For the married ladies and gentlemen, your posts are even more important because you know the reality of marriage. Belmot , Omoluabi , dansoye1 , AgbongboAkala , zaynie , Moffy , Interloper , IrekeOnibudo , Shymmex , Omo Oba of the Source , osoronga , @quimicababes , iyalode , Iya Niyen! , OmoOba , Honorebu 1). Happiness: I don't believe anyone can attain everlasting happiness in this lifetime. We'll always be in pursuit of happiness. So I'd rather go for being fulfilled and having a partner that complements me, with great kids we can nurture/raise together to be whatever they want to be. 2). Individualistic: I don't really like getting third/other parties involved in whatever I do. Cordial relationship with extended family, but no interference. 3). Family size: I want a big family. Preferably, 4 or 5 kids. 4). Role: traditional role should apply - with the man as the head of the family, and the woman providing the support system. Every team has a team leader and there can only be one driver in a car. However, it won't be a master/slave or boss/employee type of relationship - more of a partnership/team-work, with the man as the team leader. 5). Income: dual. There's a paradigm shift and the consciousness of the world is different today. One person can't do it all alone. And I'm not really a fan of full housewives cos it's basically more or less prison. 6). Number of kids: strictly income. 7). Polygamy: not interested. One woman is enough headache - two would double jeopardy and double whammy of headaches. Anything more than that would be death certificate. 8). Love: I don't believe in Love. All I want is respect and loyalty.
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Post by Her Highness on Dec 10, 2015 0:16:06 GMT
What do you consider the ideal family structure should be? Please discuss these concepts: 1. Happiness 2. Individualistic / Collectivism (external family interferes) 3. Family size 4. Roles [if you think roles should apply] 5. Income (dual or tradition) Tradition incomes refers to a working husband and a housewife. 6. Number of kids (should it be based on income, time or society population) 7. Polygamy 8. Others For the married ladies and gentlemen, your posts are even more important because you know the reality of marriage. Belmot , Omoluabi , dansoye1 , AgbongboAkala , zaynie , Moffy , Interloper , IrekeOnibudo , Shymmex , Omo Oba of the Source , osoronga , @quimicababes , iyalode , Iya Niyen! , OmoOba , Honorebu 1). Happiness: I don't believe anyone can attain everlasting happiness in this lifetime. We'll always be in pursuit of happiness. So I'd rather go for being fulfilled and having a partner that complements me, with great kids we can nurture/raise together to be whatever they want to be. 2). Individualistic: I don't really like getting third/other parties involved in whatever I do. Cordial relationship with extended family, but no interference. 3). Family size: I want a big family. Preferably, 4 or 5 kids. 4). Role: traditional role should apply - with the man as the head of the family, and the woman providing the support system. Every team has a team leader and there can only be one driver in a car. However, it won't be a master/slave or boss/employee type of relationship - more of a partnership/team-work, with the man as the team leader. 5). Income: dual. There's a paradigm shift and the consciousness of the world is different today. One person can't do it all alone. And I'm not really a fan of full housewives cos it's basically more or less prison. 6). Number of kids: strictly income. 7). Polygamy: not interested. One woman is enough headache - two would double jeopardy and double whammy of headaches. Anything more than that would be death certificate. 8). Love: I don't believe in Love. All I want is respect and loyalty. The feeling of happiness and fulfilment aren't quantifiable, nor can they be realistically defined. if no one can ever attain happiness, then how will fulfillment be attained? They're the same concept, if you think about it. What is fulfilment and how can it be attained? If you think it can be attained, why not apply the same optimism to happiness? You're actually right about happiness as being unattainable.......psychologists may have proven that with their hedonistic treadmill theory. If you like to read more: The Hedonic Treadmill – If Only Happiness Were As Easy As Marriage, a Big House, and KidsThe Hedonic Treadmill: Happiness Throughout a Lifetime
I don't believe in love either, then when I think of how I feel for family, I begin to doubt my own disbelief. Would you not love your children? Do you not love your immediate family? According to psychologists, love evolves as the relationship ages: You begin with passionate love to compassionate love
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Post by Shymmex on Dec 10, 2015 0:43:41 GMT
1). Happiness: I don't believe anyone can attain everlasting happiness in this lifetime. We'll always be in pursuit of happiness. So I'd rather go for being fulfilled and having a partner that complements me, with great kids we can nurture/raise together to be whatever they want to be. 2). Individualistic: I don't really like getting third/other parties involved in whatever I do. Cordial relationship with extended family, but no interference. 3). Family size: I want a big family. Preferably, 4 or 5 kids. 4). Role: traditional role should apply - with the man as the head of the family, and the woman providing the support system. Every team has a team leader and there can only be one driver in a car. However, it won't be a master/slave or boss/employee type of relationship - more of a partnership/team-work, with the man as the team leader. 5). Income: dual. There's a paradigm shift and the consciousness of the world is different today. One person can't do it all alone. And I'm not really a fan of full housewives cos it's basically more or less prison. 6). Number of kids: strictly income. 7). Polygamy: not interested. One woman is enough headache - two would double jeopardy and double whammy of headaches. Anything more than that would be death certificate. 8). Love: I don't believe in Love. All I want is respect and loyalty. The feeling of happiness and fulfilment aren't quantifiable, nor can they be realistically defined. if no one can ever attain happiness, then how will fulfillment be attained? They're the same concept, if you think about it. What is fulfilment and how can it be attained? If you think it can be attained, why not apply the same optimism to happiness? You're actually right about happiness as being unattainable.......psychologists may have proven that with their hedonistic treadmill theory. If you like to read more: The Hedonic Treadmill – If Only Happiness Were As Easy As Marriage, a Big House, and KidsThe Hedonic Treadmill: Happiness Throughout a Lifetime
I don't believe in love either, then when I think of how I feel for family, I begin to doubt my own disbelief. Would you not love your children? Do you not love your immediate family? According to psychologists, love evolves as the relationship ages: You begin with passionate love to compassionate love Fulfillment in this context (my own definition) is about having the type of partner I want to be with (an ideal partner) and kids that exhibit what I want to see in children. With fulfillment, it's about setting goals and defining what you want - and attaining them. However, with happiness, it an emotion and it varies/swings - depending on the state of mind and mood. Hence in its infinite form, it's something you're always going to be in pursuit of cos it's not constant. My bad - I was alluding to love in the context of relationships and folks I'm not related to by blood/DNA. Obviously, it's possible to love ya family (blood relations) and children cos blood will always be thicker than water. Also, the love I was alluding to in this context is: unconditional love. Yes, I'll love my children unconditionally and I love my immediate family unconditionally regardless of their flaws. And the reason has to do with being from the same root/blood and sharing the same DNA. With my immediate family for example: when I look at them, I see myself. Then when I look at how we all grew up together under the same roof, from childhood, to adulthood - that bond can never be broken, no matter how we drift apart. However, a partner will always be a stranger in a way and putting you all into someone it might take a lifetime to know, is risky business. That's just basically my outlook to life cos I'm from the school of thought where - protecting yourself at all times - is paramount.
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Post by Her Highness on Dec 10, 2015 1:04:35 GMT
The feeling of happiness and fulfilment aren't quantifiable, nor can they be realistically defined. if no one can ever attain happiness, then how will fulfillment be attained? They're the same concept, if you think about it. What is fulfilment and how can it be attained? If you think it can be attained, why not apply the same optimism to happiness? You're actually right about happiness as being unattainable.......psychologists may have proven that with their hedonistic treadmill theory. If you like to read more: The Hedonic Treadmill – If Only Happiness Were As Easy As Marriage, a Big House, and KidsThe Hedonic Treadmill: Happiness Throughout a Lifetime
I don't believe in love either, then when I think of how I feel for family, I begin to doubt my own disbelief. Would you not love your children? Do you not love your immediate family? According to psychologists, love evolves as the relationship ages: You begin with passionate love to compassionate love Fulfillment in this context (my own definition) is about having the type of partner I want to be with (an ideal partner) and kids that exhibit what I want to see in children. With fulfillment, it's about setting goals and defining what you want - and attaining them. However, with happiness, it an emotion and it varies/swings - depending on the state of mind and mood. Hence in its infinite form, it's something you're always going to be in pursuit of cos it's not constant. My bad - I was alluding to love in the context of relationships and folks I'm not related to by blood/DNA. Obviously, it's possible to love ya family (blood relations) and children cos blood will always be thicker than water. Also, the love I was alluding to in this context is: unconditional love. Yes, I'll love my children unconditionally and I love my immediate family unconditionally regardless of their flaws. And the reason has to do with being from the same root/blood and sharing the same DNA. With my immediate family for example: when I look at them, I see myself. Then when I look at how we all grew up together under the same roof, from childhood, to adulthood - that bond can never be broken, no matter how we drift apart. However, a partner will always be a stranger in a way and putting you all into someone it might take a lifetime to know, is risky business. That's just basically my outlook to life cos I'm from the school of thought where - protecting yourself at all times - is paramount. You made good points. You mentioned unconditioned love and the essence of strangerism ........ do you then think divorce is a necessary evil [under certain conditions]? If yes, what might those conditions be?
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Post by Shymmex on Dec 10, 2015 1:11:31 GMT
Fulfillment in this context (my own definition) is about having the type of partner I want to be with (an ideal partner) and kids that exhibit what I want to see in children. With fulfillment, it's about setting goals and defining what you want - and attaining them. However, with happiness, it an emotion and it varies/swings - depending on the state of mind and mood. Hence in its infinite form, it's something you're always going to be in pursuit of cos it's not constant. My bad - I was alluding to love in the context of relationships and folks I'm not related to by blood/DNA. Obviously, it's possible to love ya family (blood relations) and children cos blood will always be thicker than water. Also, the love I was alluding to in this context is: unconditional love. Yes, I'll love my children unconditionally and I love my immediate family unconditionally regardless of their flaws. And the reason has to do with being from the same root/blood and sharing the same DNA. With my immediate family for example: when I look at them, I see myself. Then when I look at how we all grew up together under the same roof, from childhood, to adulthood - that bond can never be broken, no matter how we drift apart. However, a partner will always be a stranger in a way and putting you all into someone it might take a lifetime to know, is risky business. That's just basically my outlook to life cos I'm from the school of thought where - protecting yourself at all times - is paramount. You made good points. You mentioned unconditioned love and the essence of strangerism ........ do you then think divorce is a necessary evil [under certain conditions]? If yes, what might those conditions be? Strangely, I don't believe in divorce - the same way I never break up with chics. I let them do it. Personally, if I ever get married, I'll never file for divorce, especially when kids are involved. I'd rather just get myself some space and keep the relationship cordial cos of the kids. I don't believe kids deserve the trauma that comes with the divorce process.
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Post by Her Highness on Dec 10, 2015 1:14:49 GMT
You made good points. You mentioned unconditioned love and the essence of strangerism ........ do you then think divorce is a necessary evil [under certain conditions]? If yes, what might those conditions be? Strangely, I don't believe in divorce - the same way I never break up with chics. I let them do it. Personally, if I ever get married, I'll never file for divorce, especially when kids are involved. I'd rather just get myself some space and keep the relationship cordial cos of the kids. I don't believe kids deserve the trauma that comes with the divorce process. What makes you think they won't get traumatized when there's a space between mommy and daddy? Even if she gets impregnated by another man? No divorce?
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Post by Shymmex on Dec 10, 2015 1:22:37 GMT
Strangely, I don't believe in divorce - the same way I never break up with chics. I let them do it. Personally, if I ever get married, I'll never file for divorce, especially when kids are involved. I'd rather just get myself some space and keep the relationship cordial cos of the kids. I don't believe kids deserve the trauma that comes with the divorce process. What makes you think they won't get traumatized when there's a space between mommy and daddy? Even if she gets impregnated by another man? No divorce? She'll have to file for the divorce - I don't renegade on agreements. That's just the way I'm.
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Post by Her Highness on Dec 10, 2015 1:25:23 GMT
What makes you think they won't get traumatized when there's a space between mommy and daddy? Even if she gets impregnated by another man? No divorce? She'll have to file for the divorce - I don't renegade on agreements. That's just the way I'm. If she doesn't want to, you'd take care of the kid?
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Post by Shymmex on Dec 10, 2015 1:31:17 GMT
She'll have to file for the divorce - I don't renegade on agreements. That's just the way I'm. If she doesn't want to, you'd take care of the kid? Obviously. My kids would always be the priority. They would be more important than me as well.
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Post by Her Highness on Dec 10, 2015 1:35:31 GMT
If she doesn't want to, you'd take care of the kid? Obviously. My kids would always be the priority. They would be more important than me as well. Honestly, I'm surprised. I'm actually finding it hard to believe. I've seen marriages where women prioritize their babies/kids over their husband, it never ends well.
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Post by Omo Oba of the Source on Dec 10, 2015 5:44:31 GMT
You appear anti-polygamist - no offense. Marriage becoming polygamic is as a result of the absorption of western societal standards/religion. Traditional African society was accepting of polygamy and it worked on all levels till women thought white man's style was ultimate and men had to resort to cheating till they get caught or impregnate the other woman and they become bold with it. In fact, polygamy showed the level of a man's wealth/inflience in the previous generations. And women were accepting of their husbands getting other wives because it adds to their level of soceital importance and also only a 'wicked' woman in Yoruba soceity would prevent her man from taking more wives if he so wishes. I mean no offence and forgive me if I have misunderstood you.
Are you in a roundabout way trying to justify polygamy? Are men not human beings? Why can't they control their urges - abi you think women don't have similar urges?
Also, how do you know for certain that back then, women were truly okay with polygamy? What if they had to accept it because there were no other alternatives for them? Women are human beings too with feelings. The way it hurts when your wife/girlfriend cheat is the same way it hurts when you do.
Yes, polygamy may have been prevalent in our culture BUT it does not make it right. The world is constantly changing and evolving and with this comes the realisation that there are some questionable aspects of our culture and now we are trying to make things right.
I do not believe men are born polygamous. This line is just the BS that a lot of men spew to continue to get away with philandering.
When God created Adam, he created only ONE helper, not two, three or ten, just one. Yes, the world is constantly evolving but you lost me with your argument when you had it standing on a biblical line - are we as Africans supposed to work with the mythical tradition of origin of another civilization? Naaaaa. Like I would always say, there are many worlds in earth and we only work with whatever world we expose ourselves or we are exposed to - the women of the period of polygamy period as far as African studies go were very comfortable with it. Apart from the status that comes with it, the women also get to have helping hands with larger house and farm chores. Polygamy back then was not mostly over sexual attraction or love; it was mostly to solidify family connections, for status, for house chores and farm chores. And I'm not rooting for polygamy, neither am I rooting for monogamy. I've come to realize most situations I judged older males with become clearer to me the older I get so I refrain from judging any situations.
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